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Thursday, September 8, 2011

SCT-VI

Alright everyone!  Since I only gave you two posts this week, I'll make up for it with 2 (yes 2^) stories for SCT!  The first one comes to us from an anonymous writer so I will only say that this story comes from XX in America!  Enjoy!:

So after reading this blog the last few weeks now I decided in the best interest of the followers to share an intimate story of my life. I was going to bury this awkward/embarrassing/gross story in my subconscious for all eternity... But then I thought, eh…what the hell

So here it goes! I had just moved into my new place after accepting a new job, I was excited. I had my two cousins come help kick off the new job at the new place. My roommate was out of town, so we decided to get way too drunk way too fast and head out to the bar scene.

So long story short, I get a sext (for all of you non-tech savvy people this is a text with sexual undertones, idiots), and it is from a girl I use to hang out with/sorta date/never really ended things with before I left for my new job #iamanidiot.

She decides to come out to the bar we are at under one condition, I pay her taxi fee (obviously I was drunk and texted a creative smiley face and told her to come on over). From here on out, the night gets pretty blurry, we hang out, she gives me speeches about how we should be together but it can’t happen now, I am obviously just drinking as much as I can during this.

Flash forward 5-7 hours, it’s about 8am, I wake up to this nice lady on the phone with an angry man. I am confused, where am I?  Oh, I am at my new place of residence, but how did I get here? Why is she here? Where are my clothes?

Anyway, whoever this girl is on the phone with is pissed. I ask her (like a gentlemen) if she would like me to call her a taxi. She gives me an evil look and informs me that she has a ride. From her boyfriend. Who she just moved in a condo with. Cool. Wait, what?

So at this point I am thinking ok, I am still drunk. I can’t (nor do I want to) fight anyone sub 9am, who do you think I am? Zach Wermers? (Editor’s note: how dare you!) So she gets in her outfit from the previous night, and out she goes (I asked if she wanted me to walk her out, she did not think this was funny)

So the aftermath? First of all I did not know this nice lady was involved, so if you’re judging, get over it. Secondly, she let me know that things were on the rocks with this new boy, and that the truth was told (I wish she would fill me in too, because I have not the slightest idea of what happened that night).

Currently, I am safe. No one has showed up to my house to kill me, and I have not talked to this nice lady since. Did I buy a weapon for self protection? I feel like that answer is obvious at this point.

I hope you all enjoyed this story.


aaaaaannnnndd our second story comes from LS in WV! Enjoy!:

So this past Thursday another student at the clinic with me, JC, her CI (JS) and another PTA we work with decide that we should go out to celebrate the last week of JC working there.  JS played rugby at WVU and had been a bouncer at just about every bar in Motown(yes I am using a sweet slang name for this fabulous city in WV) so he decides that he’s going to take us to a few of them.  SO, JC and I go out for dinner and have a couple glasses of wine before heading to meet the rest of our co-workers at the bar.

Bar 1(I’ll hit the high points): We order our beer and I notice that there is a sticker on the wall behind the bar that states “F@#$ your local bartender”. I thought it was totally rational to then ask the bartender who happens to be wearing torn jeans and a camo WVU hat,

LS: so are you my local bartender?

Bartender: yes…why? 

LS: well that sticker instructs us to f@#$ our local bartender so I was just making sure that was you!

Bartender: <smirk> 

JC:<laughing hysterically>

JS: seriously Lindsay?<insert jaw drop> Coming from a guy that would sound like a lame pick-up line!

LS: but it’s ok from me, right?

JS: <insert shoulder shrug>

To this same bartender I also mentioned, later when I found out that is was ladies night, that I wanted to know the ladies night specials. His reply was “when you act like a lady I’ll give you a special”
Touche fine sir…touché.

Bar 2(the last one I’ll mention): I order 2 vodka sprites, I receive 1 rum and sprite, and 1 tequila sprite…not wanting to complain I drink them both regardless. After finishing I again order 2 vodka sprites…this time I watch her make them and see that the bottle clearly says RUM on it. After she finishes I inform her of the mistake, so she gave me those for free and starts to make 2 more…with the same RUM bottle.  This time I stop her and tell her that just because the liquid is clear in the bottle that doesn’t make it vodka…she wasn’t too happy with that comment. But I finally got the drinks I wanted and I woke up the next day, reeking of booze and attempting to treat patients…good times with the hill people!

That's if for this week everyone!  See ya back here on Sunday

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