Traction Tuesday? (eh...why not)

Not much going on since the weekend…except for a 3 hour CEU conference I attended last night which highlighted cervical and lumbar traction uses and techniques. (warning to those of you who don’t care about cervical or lumbar traction…this may not be the post for you.)

The conference began at 5:15 in Odessa, FL which is about 45 minutes from the clinic I work at, and I left about 4:45…so I drove quickly.  I showed up about 5 minutes late, but that’s ok…because the most important part of being late is that I got my pick of the entire buffet of food that was left over from the “pre-conference” meal.  Lucky for them I was starving…there was a TON of food left!  They had pizza, fried chicken fingers, hamburgers, brownies (and some weird wraps and fresh vegetables…needless to say…those stayed on the buffet line).  Not only did I get to eat to my heart’s content, I also got to miss about 15 minutes of the conference while I ate in the other room (and then had seconds). 

Finally I made it out to the conference.  As I walked in, the speaker was discussing the benefits of putting the patient in a neutral position and that a minimum of 25 lbs should be used while performing cervical traction…this apparently didn’t sit with one of the techs there.  He began to yell about how in 7 years of performing cervical traction, he had never I REPEAT NEVER! seen a patient go from 0-25#’s of traction at one shot.  The tech found this deplorable and many of the therapists began to argue with the speaker.  They began to prod the speaker and asked him about C5-C6 instability, and they asked him whether or not he would do the same procedure with someone who had those issues…to which he said yes…to which they responded with more yelling.  It was great to be on the sideline for all of this.  It sort of became this back and forth fodder for well-read professionals.  They were yelling, but they were yelling the names of authors and titles of research that backed up their various points…I found the whole thing to be hysterical.

Once the cervical traction issues were settled…or left unsettled…the speaker moved on to tell everyone that lumbar traction should always be performed in prone…(insert similar story to what I wrote above).  It was mid-way through this tiff that I decided to go back for 3rds and 4ths on the buffet line…I had already sided with the speaker and didn’t care to hear a bunch of people who were stuck-in-their-ways hash it out…I was hungry. 

To be fair to the speaker, he had 10-12 studies to back up every point he made and stayed remarkably calm considering the firing range he walked on to.  In fact, one person in-particular (who looked strikingly similar to Dan Aykroyd during the early 1980’s) really had it out for the speaker.  Everytime there was anything he could do to nitpick or start debate…he did.  His favorite two lead-in’s were:

Dan Aykroyd Look-a-Like…or DALaL (with a smarmy look on his face): “Ummmm…so what does your evidence say about (insert claim here)”

and…

DADLaL (with the same unintelligible, obnoxiously brazen facial expression): “Sooooo…(pausing to allow everyone to realize how important he is) IIIIII have been practicing under (insert allegedly well known physician here) and hiiiiszzz approach is compllleeeeeT…ly differenT.

Based on my flattering description of him, you can tell I was pretty impressed.  And as I stated earlier, the speaker did a great job of neutralizing most of the nay-sayers while subtly crushing their arguments. The conference ended with me eating a couple more slices of pizza and volunteering myself for the lumbar traction tutorial…all in all, not a bad time!  

See you all back here Thursday for SCT V

TBBC

Some people might take the weekend after a trip from Tampa to MPLS and back to rest…not me.

This weekend I decided to drive down to Tampa early Saturday afternoon to check out the Tampa Bay Brewing Company (TBBC).  (Website:http://www.tampabaybrewingcompany.com)  I arrived at the brewery around 12:07pm and instantly fell in love.  It’s located in an area of Tampa known as Ybor, which has an old-school feel that you can tour on a rail car (it’s pretty cool).  The restaurant itself is kinda hard to find because it’s hidden behind an open-air bar that is open year-round (if patrons can handle the heat…on this day…they could not).

When you walk in, you immediately notice their brewing area.  It reminds me of a Granite City-type restaurant where they showcase the tall steel vessels, but it’s more of a lounge/hipster type hang-out.  They have everything you (or at least I) would want in a brewery.  They have 10 full time beers including several Ales and a solid Stout.  They have seasonal beers.  They have a weekly cask beer. And they have great food.  Now, I plan on coming back to this place almost every weekend while I’m down here so on this visit, I decided to stay away from the food.  Trust me, I’ll have a post that’s all about the food in a couple weeks…I won’t be able to stay away from their “Burger Bomb” which is ½ pound of ground beef, onion rings, bacon, cheddar, French fries…all wrapped in pizza dough…It might be too much for my limbic system to handle.

The first thing I ordered was the beer sampler and I would be remised if I didn’t chronicle my two favorite beers:  Old Elephant I.P.A was my favorite…obviously.  It was hoppy and hit me in the face with its bitterness…it wasn’t my favorite IPA ever…but it was close.  My other favorite, however, was Jack the Quaffer London Porter which had wwaaaayy more flavor than I’ve had in other porters…there was even a little chocolate in it!

This place also has a ton of regulars.  They all know each other and have their own mugs etc., and they’re all really friendly.  On this day, I was more than happy to keep to myself at the bar and enjoy the beers and food, but as I sat there, I began to hear a conversation that I couldn’t avoid.  Down the bar a little ways I heard a woman yell “I CANNOT STAND TOM BRADY!!”  I looked over to see 3 people hashing out their favorite (and apparently least favorite) sports teams and players. Now I’ve had a strong dislike for Brady since he led the Patriots on that 35 yard game winning drive against the Rams…and was subsequently compared with every great QB ever.  It’s at this moment that I dove in and had a great conversation about Brady, my journey to Bucs fandom, and South Dakota which included tidbits like:

Bar Patron (with a condescending tone in her voice): “You’re from South Dakota? Where’s that?”

Me (purposely being a smartass): “Below North Dakota.”

After a few more conversations, it is no exaggeration to say that I was incredibly happy with everything this place had to offer.

After a few more beers, some of the patrons got a little boisterous about Hurricane Irene and how North Easterners were freaking out about a Category 1 storm.  One in particular began to yell about how they (the New Englanders) need to “just suck it up and have a ‘Hurricane Party.’” She was hammered so I didn’t provoke her much about how 1 blizzard down here would up-end their world (just like a hurricane in an area of the country that doesn’t normally get hurricanes…like say…New York?).

Overall I had a great time down in Tampa.  On my way back to Citrus County, I drove by Raymond James Stadium and thought about going in for the pre-season game against Miami.  I decided not to waste my first experience with the pirate ship on a pre-season match-up…

That's all for the weekend that was!  See ya Tuesday

SCT-IV

This week's SCT comes from MG in Omaha! Enjoy:

So it was my first weekend in Springfield, MO for my clinical and all options of hanging out with a friend of a friend and such wasn’t going to work out.  I decided that I would head to B-dubs (buffalo wild wings for those who do not know) to watch some sports and have some wings since the place I was staying at did not get ESPN (which for me is a travesty).

Upon arriving at B-dubs I walk to the bar and ask this “couple” if anyone was sitting next to them.  They said no and I promptly sat down and ordered a beer.  A few moments later, the guy asked the bartender if they were showing the UFC fights since they had the preview show on.  The bartender said they weren’t due to a fight happening there last time they showed a UFC Event (I guess I never really knew people were that serious about UFC).  This reminded me of a couple of local B-dub establishments back home that did the same thing so I chimed in with my 2 cents and started up a conversation with this “couple.”

At some point this guy walked away and I asked the girl (AS) how long she and said dude have been together.  She replied that they were definitely NOT together and that he was actually driving her crazy even though they had only been talking for like a week.  She then informed me that he had to work that night and she had nothing else to do.  This is when I casually asked her if she would like to have a couple drinks after we all left B-dubs.  She said yes but neglected to tell her male companion.  She informed me that she forgot her cell phone at her house but I could follow them her back there once we left the bar (once again, she failed to mention this to her male friend).

So I follow them back to her house and the guy gets out of the car looking like he’s ready to kill me.  I let him know that it was me from B-dubs and he subdued slightly.  Upon entering the house, I hear AS and this dude arguing loudly in the garage.  She comes in and tells me she has to take this guy back to his house so he can go to work and that I am more than welcome to stay at her house and wait BY MYSELF, which I did (and yes I waited because what else was I going to do in Springfield, MO on a Saturday night).

So we end up going to this bar in d-town Springfield where there were not enough bartenders for the amount of people that were there.  Nonetheless we finally get our drinks, courtesy of some random girl.  She invites us to go hang out with her friends who had bottle service at the other end of the bar (yeah I have no idea why she was at the bar to get drinks but who cares, we got free drinks for the rest of the night).  She then informs me and AS that she is a lesbian and that AS needs to pretend to flirt with her and I have to act like I’m not interested in AS (once again done deal since free drinks are involved).  After a few drinks they state that they are going to the gay club in d-town Springfield and ask me if I’m okay with this.  I briefly tell them about The Maxx in Omaha and that I’m sure this place has nothing on The Maxx and that I’ll be fine. 

The night ends up with me driving back to AS’s house after she had previously extended the offer for me to sleep in her guest bedroom.  Sometime in the morning the doorbell rings and I’m thinking to myself, who is coming over to this house at 8am?!?!?!  It turns out it was her “ex-husband” (the “ “ because I didn’t believe her) dropping off her 3 or 4 year old daughter.  At this point I was in complete shock and told her I had to leave to get stuff done for work the next day. 

And with that, we've commenced our 5th week on the blog!  Thanks everyone for reading and contributing!  Until Sunday

Insects, Amphibians, and Reptiles...oh, and Hurricane Irene

Today’s post will begin shortly, but first…I need to answer an emergency question from ES in Nevada who wrote in over the weekend:

ZW,

I know it’s not the first Tuesday of the month, but seeing that Hurricane Irene is on its way to your location, can you comment on how the locals handle the news?  Thanks.

Great question…and one that needs to be answered this week since Hurricane Irene will be gone by the next Correspondence Tuesday (which is actually the 3^rd Tuesday of every month…not the first, but I’ll forgive you since you’ve been such a stout contributor).  To be honest with you, the locals treat news of an impending hurricane like an investor would treat news of a 200 point drop in the Dow: it’s only a little depressing, and it’s definitely not unexpected (note: this is absolutely asinine to me). I’ve had a ton of conversations with people about this and most of them include phrases like:

Random person #1: “Oh…yeah I guess Irene might hit here Friday.  So how was your weekend?”

RP #2: “I guess I better get to the store…oh well.”

RP #3: “Meh…”

(Note: all quotes above were approximated. (which…now that I think about it…actually takes away from the point of using quotations...woops))

The Floridians also have a custom when a hurricane makes its way to the mainland…they have what they refer to as “Hurricane Parties!”  They board up the windows, lock the doors, and buy a ton of booze.  It’s the Midwest equivalent of a “Snow Day” when you find out the night before that class has been canceled, it’s a free-for-all…  While I’m not hoping for a destructive hurricane to run its way through Florida, a "Hurricane Party" is something I feel I need to experience before my time here is up. 

(It looks like Hurricane Irene will miss most of Florida, but the way weather patterns down here operate, I'm not taking anything for granted until she dissipates.)

Onto today’s post…Over the past weekend I started thinking about all of the different wild-life I see everyday down here and pondered: “you know…I haven’t really talked about that on the blog.”  So today I’m going to chronicle some of my favorite run-ins with Florida’s critters and creatures:

1.       Every morning as I exit the HLC, I’m greeted by a large contingent of...get this...geckos.  I literally almost step on one every morning on my way to the car.  They breed them like ants down here…and it’s not just at the HLC, at work I see even more of them scurrying around and blending in with the bushes.  I have yet to see a lizard bigger than 4-5 inches, but I’ve been told they exist so I’ll keep my eyes peeled.

2.       In the 3.5 weeks I’ve been down here, I’ve almost hit 3 turtles crossing the street.  The first time, I was a little concerned, but now…now I kind of see them as a nuisance…almost like the cats of the South.  I’ll continue to swerve and try to avoid them, but I make no promises

3.       A frog was climbing on the window of the clinic this morning…I must have had some sort of weird look on my face because the other people at the clinic immediately told me that this happens all the time.  Apparently it isn’t that uncommon to have a frog or two on your windshield in the morning…which I think is kinda neat.

4.       Apparently some people at the clinic found scorpions (note: yes…scorpions) in their houses the other day.  Multiple scorpions in multiple houses…needless to say, this has me checking under my pillows and under the bed every night before I go to sleep.  I’m absolutely petrified of waking up with a scorpion on my face or even in my room…I may never sleep again. (I take a little solace in the fact that they are known to gravitate near pine trees…of which, there are very few near the HLC.)

5.       I’ve been told that there are also anaconda snakes down in an area known as “Alligator Alley” which is south of here by a ways, but it would be on my way to Miami.  I intend on visiting this “Alley”…if nothing else, to see alligators and anacondas up close…don’t worry, I’ll produce a full report…now I just need an excuse to go to Miami (which shouldn’t take much time to find)…RT!, let’s get on this!

That’s all for today folks^  I’m still looking for a story for SCT IV, so don’t be afraid to email me some stories.  See you back here Thursday^^

Stor-y Book Wedding

Welcome back everybody!  For those of you who didn’t know, I flew up to Minneapolis this weekend so I could attend the wedding of JM (nicknamed Stor…thus the title of the post) and EB (…now EM).  The following stories are from the trip.

I flew AirTran from Tampa to Milwaukee to MPLS and for the most part everything went off without an issue…just an extended lay-over in Milwaukee…but there was a Chili’s right around the corner from my terminal…can you say blessing in disguise? (more on this later)  I know you all want to hear about the debauchery from the wedding, but first I have a few observations/talking points I want to discuss before I get into that:

1.        There should a maximum size that a person can be before you are required to purchase another seat… I’m not talking about someone who is “just a little overweight” I’m talking about an inability to get the arm rest down because of your size…it’s honestly staggering how large some people can get. (and of course, 2 of the larger people on my flights sat right next to yours truly…stress

2.       It is impressive how much information people will disclose to random strangers they sit next to on flights.  I got 5 different life stories on 6 different flights and they all went into shocking amounts of detail (2 were recently divorced, 1 was a “life-long bachelor” (and from the looks of things, not by choice), and the other 2 weren’t memorable)  In fact, the only life story I didn’t get was from a couple of guys I met at Chili’s who randomly also sat next to me on the flight.  We each had a Jack and Coke on the flight together and none of us overshared...just normal conversation that didn’t involve all of our personal problems.  At the end of the flight, the stewardess forgot to charge us so it was free…which was nice.

3.       I had the exact same flight crew on my flights to and from Milwaukee from and to Tampa (follow that?).  I could see if it was a flight into some small town, but Tampa and Milwaukee? I found this to be odd.  But then again, I don’t fly all that often so maybe this is something that’s commonplace…TW from Arizona, if you’re reading, please shed some “culture” on this situation if you would.

The night before the wedding, I was picked up at the airport only to be transported to what can solitarily  be described as a “townie bar” in Waconia, MN (which is where the wedding was held).  Picture a half-perkins-type restaurant mixed with a raging dance club…that leaves you pretty close…now on top of that, picture a fairly respectable patio and the outer décor of a village in West Germany…now you’ve got it.  As I stated before, it was a definite townie bar and had all the usual suspects: the guy who is waaay too old to be there and has been there since 4, the former high school jock who hasn’t moved on, the guy who wears too many accessories and has two (clearly high maintenance) women at his side, and the largest group of smokers you’ll ever see in your life crowded around several lighters on the patio.  Despite all of this the bar tenders put together a performance that ranks as high as any bartending performance I’ve ever been a part of.  The place was packed and I didn’t have to wait more than 5 minutes to get my drinks. (they didn’t even have to ask me how to make a Lunchbox…I really can’t put into words how much that surprised me…really just a job well done there). 

Alright, onto the wedding. To be honest, the only part I really paid attention to were the readings…and for good reason. As most of you know, I like to speak…and more than that, I like to speak in public.  So naturally, I’ve been chosen to be the reader at all of my former roommates’ weddings thus far…that is, until this one.  I spent the duration of the readings staring down the readers and begging for them to stumble…the only hiccup occurred when the first reader had to pause after she became a little verklempt.  Needless to say, I wasn’t pleased.  (Note: obviously I wore my 3-piece suit (The Joseph) to the wedding with a knot that would make Merril Hoge salivate…just in case one of the readers wasn’t up to snuff and needed a reliever reader. My two PIC’s were also looking incredibly dapper…feel free to gawk on facebook)

The reception was held a few miles away from our hotel and featured some free kegs and a DJ who appeared to have his “stuff” together.  Stories were shared, drinks were drank, skirts were chased, and the chicken buffet left most of us satisfied til morning. It ended as most receptions end: with a large contingent of drunk patrons sloppily performing the Cupid Shuffle while the bartenders dispose of empty kegs…and that’s how it should be.

This morning was moderately stressful for multiple reasons:

1.       I had to wake up at 7 to get to the airport in time for my 10:30 departure.

2.       I had a top-3 all-time hang-over.

3.       Dry decided to wander off after the reception and not tell anyone where he went…and he was my ride to the airport.  Luckily, he left his keys in the hotel room, so I just jacked his vehicle and drove myself to the airport.  If IR hadn’t offered to ride shotgun and take the car back to Waconia, I was willing to leave the car running at the terminal…thanks Dry…

Somehow, I made it back to the HLC without too many issues (besides what I chronicled earlier).  Glad to be back here and even more pleased that I’m going to bed now.  Hope you all had a great weekend!  If any of you have a story for SCT, send it my way!

SCT3!!!

I'd like to thank DW from NoDak for supplying this week's SCT! Enjoy: 

I’d first like to start off with saying that I, unlike many who read this blog, am not technically a graduate student. I like to think of myself as a Grad school groupie - latching on to all and molding myself into the group every time I go visit said higher learners. The point is, STC will NOT be focusing on a clinical/medical/hospital experience. This is about the dangers of dating in the North.

The thing is, I live in Fargo. North Dakota. One thing I’ve learned since living up here is that people up here are a different breed. (these people are not to be confused with the readers who are from Moorhead, MN. You’ve made it very clear that Moorhead is far more elite than Fargo so please- take no offense.) I’m a single, outgoing, open-minded female who rarely turns down a date or set-up. Why? Because most of the time, even though these first dates NEVER make it to a second date, are usually horrible, and result in phone numbers being deleted and phone calls being screened, I get a pretty great story out of each and every one of them. Apparently that makes it allllll worth it. Oh, and there’s always free food. Helloooo..

I’d like to share a true story from one of these dates / set-ups so you all get the vibes I get from people up here. And big brother, if I ever tell you I’m marrying someone from up here, please strongly advise against it.

One date I went on was with the biggest hick (BH) I have ever met. Twangy voice. Flat bed pickup truck with the bed made out of wood slats (He was quick and eager to point this out to me, clearly in high hopes of impressing me.) Hunter. Fisher. That was his life in a nutshell. Seriously, it was… he actually said “Hunting and fishing is my whole life”. Anyways, this date had some of the most awkward conversations I’ve ever had because I wasn’t really a part of any of them. He sat and talked about geese for what seemed like an eternity.

 BH- “Are you a hunter?”

Me-  “No, but…”

BH- “AAWWWWWW WHAT?? HOW CAN YOU NOT HUNT????  I’ve been hunting since I was…. (insert life story here)

After this story was over (35 minutes later) and I had learned all there was to know about shooting ducks and geese with guns, bows, sling shots, etc., he then asks me: “so, do you have a boyfriend?” I stared at him and said, “……no. Are you dating someone?” BIG MISTAKE. He then goes into another long winded story about his ex-girlfriend. Highlights from that “conversation” are: “She was the best thing that ever happened to me”….”She was my whole life for 8 years“…..(and the best one)….. “I got her a RING. We were ENGAGED this time last year.. I can‘t believe it..”….

If I didn’t know after (well, maybe before) the hunting rant that things weren’t going to work out between us, I knew for sure after that one. At the end of the date, we had the awkward “well, what now” type conversation. He then whips out the line that cemented his spot as Top Hick in Dana’s life.

BH (stone faced)  -“So…. Wanna go drive around in my truck and shoot shit?”

I politely laughed really hard and told him I would have to pass this time and should really get home. Never have I ever been happier to drive away from an Applebees. There are many other types of guys I have been out with great stories but this one was definitely the cream of the crop…. See what I did there? North Dakota? Crops?

Anyways grad students, another big thanks goes out to you all for being an outlet for me. Whether you like it or not.