SCT3!!!

I'd like to thank DW from NoDak for supplying this week's SCT! Enjoy: 

I’d first like to start off with saying that I, unlike many who read this blog, am not technically a graduate student. I like to think of myself as a Grad school groupie - latching on to all and molding myself into the group every time I go visit said higher learners. The point is, STC will NOT be focusing on a clinical/medical/hospital experience. This is about the dangers of dating in the North.

The thing is, I live in Fargo. North Dakota. One thing I’ve learned since living up here is that people up here are a different breed. (these people are not to be confused with the readers who are from Moorhead, MN. You’ve made it very clear that Moorhead is far more elite than Fargo so please- take no offense.) I’m a single, outgoing, open-minded female who rarely turns down a date or set-up. Why? Because most of the time, even though these first dates NEVER make it to a second date, are usually horrible, and result in phone numbers being deleted and phone calls being screened, I get a pretty great story out of each and every one of them. Apparently that makes it allllll worth it. Oh, and there’s always free food. Helloooo..

I’d like to share a true story from one of these dates / set-ups so you all get the vibes I get from people up here. And big brother, if I ever tell you I’m marrying someone from up here, please strongly advise against it.

One date I went on was with the biggest hick (BH) I have ever met. Twangy voice. Flat bed pickup truck with the bed made out of wood slats (He was quick and eager to point this out to me, clearly in high hopes of impressing me.) Hunter. Fisher. That was his life in a nutshell. Seriously, it was… he actually said “Hunting and fishing is my whole life”. Anyways, this date had some of the most awkward conversations I’ve ever had because I wasn’t really a part of any of them. He sat and talked about geese for what seemed like an eternity.

 BH- “Are you a hunter?”

Me-  “No, but…”

BH- “AAWWWWWW WHAT?? HOW CAN YOU NOT HUNT????  I’ve been hunting since I was…. (insert life story here)

After this story was over (35 minutes later) and I had learned all there was to know about shooting ducks and geese with guns, bows, sling shots, etc., he then asks me: “so, do you have a boyfriend?” I stared at him and said, “……no. Are you dating someone?” BIG MISTAKE. He then goes into another long winded story about his ex-girlfriend. Highlights from that “conversation” are: “She was the best thing that ever happened to me”….”She was my whole life for 8 years“…..(and the best one)….. “I got her a RING. We were ENGAGED this time last year.. I can‘t believe it..”….

If I didn’t know after (well, maybe before) the hunting rant that things weren’t going to work out between us, I knew for sure after that one. At the end of the date, we had the awkward “well, what now” type conversation. He then whips out the line that cemented his spot as Top Hick in Dana’s life.

BH (stone faced)  -“So…. Wanna go drive around in my truck and shoot shit?”

I politely laughed really hard and told him I would have to pass this time and should really get home. Never have I ever been happier to drive away from an Applebees. There are many other types of guys I have been out with great stories but this one was definitely the cream of the crop…. See what I did there? North Dakota? Crops?

Anyways grad students, another big thanks goes out to you all for being an outlet for me. Whether you like it or not.