Correspondence Tuesday

GT from Wyoming writes: What happened to AMC?

                Too soon GT from Wyoming.  AMC is currently on clinical elsewhere and will not appear in this version of my blog unless she submits a story for SCT in the next 5 months.  Which, by the way, is less likely than a snow storm settling in over Citrus County in August (translation: not happening)  However, if she does decide to offer up a literary expose, I’ll personally send you an email so you don’t miss it…

DL from Florida writes: You do realize that Florida screwed up the 2000 election and not the 2004 election right?

                Great point.  It would be a Floridian who would take a side note and make it personal.  That said: that’s my bad…I really need start double checking my posts…In fairness, you probably somehow screwed up the 2004 election too.  I’m sure there was a hanging chad controversy somewhere in there. (I actually just looked this up to see if I could somehow save face…nothing.  The election went off without a hitch…)

MW from South Dakota writes: We haven’t heard much about Houselady this time around.  How come?

                You’re right.  I haven’t really seen much of her since I moved in.  We’re mostly on different schedules and I’ve got my own living room…not conducive to conversation.  With that said, she’s been great to me and has a great set up down here between the pool and the location.  She’s a well connected woman within the community and has been crucial in helping me find fun bars and eateries in the county...no complaints here.

TK from Minnesota writes: No post today (this question came on Sunday? Really?!? You’re not posting because you’re watching WWE?  You only post every 3 days! Lazy.

                Thank you cynical blog reader for your snide remarks!  Not only was I watching Summer Slam instead of posting, I was watching the return of Big Sexy Kevin Nash…for those of you who weren’t WWF/WCW (it’s my blog and I’ll refer to it as the WWF if I like) fans during the 90’s, Kevin Nash and Scott Hall formed the nWo with (Hollywood) Hulk Hogan after they left the WWF for the WCW.  And yes, that’s a big deal.  Kevin Nash is responsible for some of my favorite memories of middle school. (note: he would have also had a bigger impact on me in high school, but he wasn’t a big part of the WWF after they bought out WCW and ECW…did you follow that? No? … Just move on)

                Also, am I the only one who has noticed how much the WWF is referenced in the everyday media these days?  The CM Punk thing that’s happening right now has really been fun to watch and has caused certain friends of mine to text:

1.) “Who won last night CM Punk or Cena?”

2.) “Kevin Nash is back!!”

3.) “K  I'm guessin you’re watchin RAW right now? This is awesome!!”

As ES from Nevada likes to say: "There's room on the bandwagon"  Go ahead and do yourself a favor by watching the first 30 minutes of RAW next Monday...If you don't like it, then you only wasted a half-hour.  I mean really...what else being televised at 9pm EDT on Monday?

BB from Montana writes: Have you met any single ladies down there?

There’s a short answer and a long answer to this.  I’ll start with the long answer:

                As I’ve stated in previous posts, I joined a gym a few weeks ago…and for the most part (if not for the guy who wears sun glasses) I’ve been very happy with it.  I’m able to get through a decent workout in a short period of time and everyone seems pretty cool.  Yesterday, I was minding my own business when a “lady” (who looked like she came straight outta PJ’s story from the first SCT) came up to me with a piece of paper and said: “here’s my number if you want to call me sometime” To which I responded (while trying to be nice): “Ok, thanks^”

At this time, random “lady” walks away only to come back 30 minutes later to tell me: “Good bye!!”

                Back to the original question: The short answer is no.

(Side note: the ^ symbol after thanks is not a typo.  The question was raised in an article that I recently read how someone could type out “Thanks!” in a more subdued way…in case you wanted to convey your thanks without looking like a spaz.  It was settled that Thanks^ displayed the appropriate amount of excitement…act accordingly)

LS from West Virginia writes: Have you hit on any of these half-cougar/half-teenager women? And please explain how you would go about approaching such a woman…

                Thanks for your question LS.  As you can see from the above (and below) question, this was a hot topic for readers…I have not hit on any of these “Halvsies”…but I did have a few drinks purchased for me at the Grove which I mentioned in that post.  The best way to approach these women is to look approachable.  The only men in this county are 65 and retired…so simply walking up to the bar with an empty drink and standing next to them is enough for them to initiate conversation with anyone under the age of 35.  This parlays into the next question…

AB from Illinois writes: Over/Under you get drunk and accidently make out with one of these 50/20 year olds?

                I am going to put the over/under at November…and I’m taking the Over.  My reasoning is explained in two ways: 1.) If…I repeat IF, I were to have a rough night at the bars and make out with a “halvsie” it would have to be later in the trip and under some pressure from a friend…a friend who I would have a history with so we would push each other into things like this…which would take some time 2.) I put the over/under so late is that there are actually some cute nurses down here who work at the hospital…and these nurses are my age…which makes the 50/20 women less appealing.

CM from Tennessee writes: How long does it take for Chili’s withdrawal to set in? I haven’t had it in over a week…

                This is a question I get all the time CM.  It’s left many a patron betwixed, but I’ll do my best to answer…if you consult and expert (and clearly you have), he’ll tell you that withdrawal from Chili’s happens immediately after you’ve finished your meal.  While the atmosphere, décor, and service all speak for themselves, the food is what keeps your brain telling you that you’ve gotta come back…and soon!  They manage to pack impeccable flavor into every item on their menu…including something as simple as a hamburger, and then what do they do? They top it with onion rings, jalapenos, and their Southwest sauce…the (expletive) Southwest sauce puts your brain in such a state of euphoria that your toes begin to tingle (note: this could also be the onset of diabetes)…it’s at this time that your brain takes the image of that red chili on the sign and tattoos it on the corpus of your stomach to remind you where to go when you hear that gastric grumble just below your ribcage.  And that is the when and the why behind your withdrawal.

JM aka JCAM aka The Worst aka The Worst Ever aka Dry aka Drigh aka Dryships aka Dummy spoke: I absolutely love the blog…the blog brings “it”

                Thanks Dry…you’re the baste…when you’re not being the worst

That’s all for our first Correspondence Tuesday!  This was by far the most fun I’ve had with the blog so far.  Thanks everyone for your questions!